Joy

Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life.

Life is full of wonderful amazing moments and also incredibly difficult moments that help shape the person you are going to become.  This past month has been a roller coaster of emotional moments.  Coping with the loss of a baby that was growing inside me was hard. Really hard.  There were moments where I felt as though my heart was being ripped from my chest.  Then there were moments where I realized that I will never have to go through a tough moment alone, not when I am surrounded by the most amazing support system anyone could ask for.  In these moments I was thankful for all that I have.

I’ve realized that life moves fast, and I think that it is so easy to get caught up in it.  Days and sometimes weeks go by before I take a moment to even realize how fast it’s moving.  2015 was an amazing year- a whirlwind of excitement.  I married the man of my dreams and we decided to start a family.  I got pregnant and shared the most amazing moments with family and close friends as we began to share our good news.  And honestly things never slowed down- Even on New Year’s Eve I was moving across town to a new apartment.  I ran directly into 2016 full speed with a million things on my mind and a busy schedule.

Then all of a sudden I found myself back at work, back to regular life.  Your dad and I were all moved into the new apartment and unpacked.  I laid down one night to go to bed and everything hit me. I felt heavy and exhausted.  I felt sad for the loss of the baby and sad that all the fun and exciting moments of 2015 were over.  For some reason I was responding the events in my life in a negative way.  But why?  Why be sad that it’s all over?  I should be joyful and thankful that it all happened.  Here I am, 31 years old.  A hard working woman who wakes up each and every day to go to a job that challenges me.  I am able to exercise everything I learned in school on a daily basis and learn more than I ever thought possible.  I come home from work each day to a husband who I love more than words can describe.  I come home to an apartment that I love and pets I can’t imagine living without.  I know that all the people in my life that mean the most to me are only a phone call away.  I know that I can go visit them anytime I want and it will be like we were never apart.

I decided in that moment that I will not choose sadness, I will choose joy.  I felt a wave of relief and a sudden shift in my thinking.  2015 was the most joyful year that I have had and looking forward into the future, I quickly realized that it is only going to get better.  So as I head into 2016 I promise to myself to always respond to life in a joyful way.  I choose to slow down and let life happen around me.  I choose to see the greatness in every moment.  I choose to be grateful for my past, aware of my present and excited for my future.

Here’s to a new year and a bright joyful future!  I can’t wait to see what 2016 has in store.

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