I am very grateful to say that having faith is something I am pretty darn good at. No matter what situation I am in I find it very easy to take a moment, realize that things could be much worse and understand that everything is going to work out. I believe with all my heart that there is something out there bigger than us. I believe in praying to God and I believe in the importance of being a good person. I know that I stray from these beliefs but I never stop trusting in them. I think I trust in this idea so much because of the way I was raised. It was drilled into my head that having faith is the most important thing there is, and being surrounded by a family that believed in the same idea made it easy to understand. I am very grateful for this and when your Dad and I talk about how we want to raise our children, this idea of having constant faith is at the top of my list.
Everyone has something they struggle with in life and sometimes I think your Dad struggles with trusting that everything will be okay. I see him worrying about our current career and living situation. He knows that we are not 100% happy here in Idaho Falls and he worries that it will be too difficult to figure out our careers once we have a baby. Also I don’t think your Dad is completely sure he likes chemistry. And I get that. There are days where I am so sick of what I do and then there are days I love it. I work with people who are VERY good at their jobs and sometimes I feel like I just don’t have the background to understand the science as much as they do. Every once in awhile I find myself very discouraged and questioning my decision to go into chemistry. I think that this is what your Dad is experiencing, a temporary questioning of his career path. I know that for the most part he is a very happy man, I just think things just catch up with him every now and then.
With that being said, I want to point out that your Dad and I have worked very hard to get where we are. My moments of weakness are just that, moments. They pass quickly and then I’m right back at it, solving the worlds toughest science questions 😉 There isn’t a day that goes by that I am not proud of your Dad and all that he has accomplished. I think that we got ourselves stuck in a situation that is not ideal (living in Idaho Falls so far from all our family and friends) and I’ve noticed that I have to tell myself that everything is going to be okay A LOT to make it through my days. I know that if we just take it one day at time this will all work out. We have been spending much of our time talking about our situation and how we want to handle it.
Like most problems, finding an answer wasn’t all that bad. I told your Dad that he should take a class in something that interests him. We can continue our search for a new apartment and make our plans as if we were going to stay in Idaho Falls for a bit (which really isn’t so terrible because we have good jobs and have worked long enough here that we will get maternity leave). We will continue our job search but not put so much pressure on it. It will happen when it is supposed to happen! I told him he needs to have faith that all of the uncertainties in our life will work themselves out. We are going to be okay no matter what.
I think you Dad is going to take a coding class. I know this is something he really likes. I pray that he finds what he is looking for in the next couple of years. I want him to have a job he loves and I want us both to live in an area where we are happy. I’m content with our current situation and knowing that it is temporary makes it a piece of cake for me. I pray that your Dad will begin to see it the same way I do. I hope that he finds a way to have faith and trust that we are going to be just fine.
I also hope that we are able to raise you in a faith filled home. I never want you to feel that finding an answer to a problem is impossible. I pray each night that we are able to instill in you the importance of believing that the answer to any problem is just around the corner. I am grateful for the way that my mom and dad raised me- I feel like I have a secret superpower that allows me to stay clam when life gets just a little too hectic. I love having the understanding that it’s all going to work out just fine, and I hope that by the time you read this I was able to show you just how important having faith is.